Neglect

Poem

Insignificant.

Useless.

Unimportant.

Alone.

Once what was a glow, a warmth to keep me going,

Now a growing void for a future unknown.

Distance increases.

As the light that once was fades.

I sit here in silence.

Contemplating.

Wondering.

Realizing.

This is the present we have made.

A happy heart now draining, ignored by the one who fills.

Those who know and understand,

Know that loneliness kills.

The mental struggle.

The physical toll.

How difficult it is to see,

When blinded by delusion and hope.

Things like this make happiness feel impossible to be.

Dissociate

Poem

Dissociate.
Let go of all you know.
All that torments you.
Let someone else take the final blow.

Understand
That nothing matters.
The thing we call reality,
Easily shatters.

Build up your walls.
For them to break them down.
Light are the hands,
The ones that steal the crown.

Throw you from your throne,
Strip you of your title,
Look you in the eyes,
Hand you that deceiving smile.

With nothing left,
You stand alone.
Beaten by betrayal and deceit,
Everything about you turns to stone.

Understand
That nothing matters.
The thing we call reality,
Easily shatters.

The more we hold onto, the more others can take from us.

If you can let go of things, you cannot easily be defeated.

By others, or yourself.

The Bed Adjacent

Covid has done a number on society. People are sick, people are hurt, people are dying and yes, many have died.

I have seen more than enough Covid related deaths than I would like to admit, but there’s more to just the sickness and death itself…

Some rooms share hospital beds, where two people lie in misery, a common ground for them to share together.

Where they both can visually watch each other suffer, get better or even die.

To watch someone pass with your same sickness has to put things in perspective…



Poem

In the adjacent bed, unable to speak. He leers at his inevitable outcome.

His bedmate lies dormant. His mind has gone numb.

The bedmate preps for leave.

The curtain hides his vision, sounds of plastic and cloth. Ears hyper-focused: a flame to the moth.

The curtain moves and the bed empty, a partner in misery, gone. A hand raises for goodbye, for he cannot speak, a tear falls from his eye.

Seemingly a hopeful moment gone wrong.

Bereave.


Another day

Here’s to the opportunity of seeing another day.

When you open your eyes first thing after a moment of slumber, some sort of gratification or thanks should be felt. The fact that you could fall asleep and never wake back up is a possibility.

A possibility many dare not to think upon.


Poem

Another day, I’ve seen many.

Perhaps more than I would have liked to see. Life plays in it’s infinite ways. The beauty of vision, sound and touch, pays in endless form.

To breathe another breath, is another step into this life: a fragile living storm.

Another day has come and it seems no different.

Menial tasks bludgeon me and feelings take over, leaving me with a body tired and a weakened mind. I wake each day and witness the core beauty of life, and say, “This is something worth leaving behind.”.


Be happy to see another day. It may be your last.

A Day at the Funeral Home

To anyone who doesn’t know, I work as a Removal Technician Manager for a funeral home.

Yes. I move dead people.

To be open, I don’t only move the dead. I respect them and handle them with grace and dignity, as all the dead deserve.



Poem

A source of warmth from cold hands

The sound of burning exists. Retorts cremating those claimed by Death. Memories and ash are all that will remain.

Heat creeps from doors which transform flesh to ash.

A warm welcome in the winter season.

Being Mentally Free and Creative.

Creativity is such a wonderful thing. Imagine where we would be without the act of being creative: inventions, innovation, science, engineering; creativity opens the gates to a world of endless possibilities, which we all utilize in our every day lives without acknowledging it.

Allowing yourself to be creative is like releasing a unique, personal form of yourself into the world where you can feel free from boundaries set by reality. This can also be a visual or auditory freedom: paintings, sculptures, writings, dance, speech, etc. Being creative is allowing yourself to be free from your own mental prison and letting loose to whatever feels right. Accept that it’s okay to be creative and know that in the universe of creativity anything goes, and that is totally okay…


Finding Creativity within you and opening your mind.

Close your eyes and picture yourself doing something fun. What is it that you see? If your first response is, “I don’t know”, you’re thinking too hard. How about this: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, hold it for four seconds and release. Instead of trying to see something, what is the first random thing that comes to mind? Jumping on a trampoline? Playing in a marching band on a snowy evening while carolers throw peanuts at you? Riding a purple giraffe into a horde of tuba players that have no ears? There is no wrong answer. The goal is for you to just let your mind loose and let creativity flow freely for a single moment. Practice this a few times a day and there will be a time where you can put the most random things together and it will still fit somehow, no matter how crazy it might sound.

This is a form of pure mental freedom.

Embrace chaos in the mind and let go. It’s relaxing, fun and will play a huge part into your Creative self while providing you with a great form of self mental care.

Be careful not to mix this with Automatic Drawing technique. Although Automatic Drawing is a nice meditative process (which I HIGHLY encourage you to try, artist or not), being creative with it is arguably counter productive.


Finding the right kind of creative outlet.

Being creative can be extremely challenging, but first find out what kind of creative outlet fits your thought process and your mind. There are many different ways to be creative and finding the right kind of creative outlet helps the creative process flow easier than you can imagine. You’ve learned how to open your mind, but unless you can control the flood of creativity into something, you just end up with mindless thoughts that might come off as a waste of mental energy. So where do you channel the flow of creativity? This is where your Creative Outlet comes into play.


Later on, let’s talk about the Creative Outlet and how to figure out which works best for us. Until then, let your mind run free time to time.

Yes, it is a hard thing to do, but when you master it your mind will thank you.